


Because of the Multiverse

by danrdarrenc



Category: Days of Our Lives
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-27
Updated: 2014-10-27
Packaged: 2018-02-22 21:38:18
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,947
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2522669
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/danrdarrenc/pseuds/danrdarrenc
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Will muses on his relationship with Sonny and talks to Sonny about what he's figured out.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Because of the Multiverse

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Maybe in Another Universe, I Deserve You](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/80444) by Gaby Dunn. 



_"I look at my life. I’m married. I have a kid. I am too young for this. I don’t want to end up with a boring life.”_

The hurt in Sonny’s eyes after I said that haunts me as I walk aimlessly through Salem Park.

Do I really think my life is boring? Is that what I meant? I don’t even know. 

I love Sonny and Ari more than anything but I still can’t help but feel like there’s something missing in my life. Is it a real career?

I sit down on one of the benches and fiddle absentmindedly with the wedding band on my finger. Only weeks ago it was so comforting, a promise of the family I had made for myself, but now it feels suffocating, a reminder of a trap I can’t get out of.

I stare out across the park towards the lake. There’s a young couple near the water’s edge having a moonlight picnic, the girl laughing at something her boyfriend says as he pops what looks like potato chips into his mouth before leaning over to kiss her gently on the lips.

I blink back unbidden tears as I suddenly remember eating potato chips in Sonny’s bed after making love for the first time. Before Gabi told me she was pregnant. Before my life spun so unbelievably out of control. Before I became my mother.

The realization hits me like a ton of bricks.

With thoughts spinning in my head, I pick myself up off the bench and slowly head home. As I turn the key in the lock of the apartment fifteen minutes later, I hope that Sonny is still awake. 

I open the door to a silent apartment but I know Sonny is here because the light in the kitchen is on. He left it on for me like he usually does when he goes to bed before I come home.

I swallow thickly, shut the kitchen light, check on Ari, and make my way into our bedroom. I stop in the doorway when I see Sonny sitting in bed reading a book. He’s waited for me. Even now, when he is upset with me, his devotion to me is overwhelming.

"Hey," Sonny says with a small but sad smile. 

"Hi." 

"Are you coming to bed or getting stuff and going back to your mom’s?" Sonny’s voice is carefully controlled and I can tell he’s walking on eggshells with his words.

I don’t answer right away, unsure of what I want to say. After a minute, I respond simply, “We need to talk.”

Sonny’s eyes darken and I can see the deep breath he takes to steel himself for whatever I am about to tell him.

Despite the conversation I am about to initiate, I crave to be close to my husband. I miss his arms around me and the way he kisses me when there is no thought of sex, just the lazy, loving, long drawn-out slide of lips against lips.

I kick my shoes off, crawl under the covers fully-clothed, and sit close, so close, to Sonny. Our arms brush together and I twine our fingers together on top of the comforter. 

"I’m sorry about what I said earlier. About saying our life is boring. Whatever I made you feel by saying that, I didn’t mean to. I just didn’t have another word for what I was trying to express."

"I don’t understand." 

I turn my head to look at Sonny and he’s staring at me with his brows furrowed. 

I gather my thoughts, try to figure out how I can make him understand, and then speak. ”I have spent so much of my life trying to not be like my mother that I ended up making the same mistakes she did - teenage pregnancy, self-loathing, self-destruction.”

"You’re -" Sonny starts but I shake my head to stop him.

"I grew up watching both of my parents bounce back and forth between partners - sometimes each other, sometimes others. And because of that I always thought that I wanted a nice stable relationship and a partner that I could count on to be there for me and just love me."

I pause and lift my free hand to cup the side of Sonny’s face. I gently stroke my thumb across his cheek and I can see that there are tears forming in his eyes.

"So when I found you, I was so happy and so ready to settle down. I was ready to give Ari the stable home I wanted for myself as a kid, so I-"

"Settled?" Sonny’s voice is barely more than a whisper but it betrays all the hurt he is feeling.

"No. No! I did not settle. I love you more than anything and I love our family, I do. It’s just - it’s just that recently I’ve been waiting for the other shoe to drop. I grew up so used to relationship drama that all I could think to say about our relationship was that it was boring. But that’s not the right word. It’s normal.”

“Isn’t that a good thing?” 

I can see how confused Sonny is by what I’m telling him but I also know he understands because there is a hint of panic in his voice and his eyes.

"Yes." I pause and blink back my own tears. 

"But?" 

I nearly let the tears fall because of how well Sonny knows me. I take a deep breath to steady myself and then ask, “Have you ever heard of supersymmetry or the multiverse theory?”

"You mean like parallel universes?" 

I nod.

"What does that have to do with anything?"

My poor Sonny is so confused but I need him to understand. If he does, then I hope it will hurt less when I say the last of what I have to say.

"The theory isn’t just that there are parallel universes, Sonny. It’s that you and I are together in them. In New York in the Roaring 20s. Or some secret, exciting romance in Jane Austen’s time. Maybe we met in Switzerland when I was still living there and you were on one of your travels and we were each other’s first everything. Maybe in one of the universes we won’t meet until you’ve got a whole chain of TBDs and I’m already a famous writer."

"Okay."

I’m breathing heavily now because I don’t think Sonny gets it yet. “Don’t you understand? The theory is also that, because of the multiverse, that in at least one of the universes we can’t be happy and we can’t be together. I just happens that that universe is this one.”

"What?" Sonny breathes. Tears are falling down his face and it takes all of my willpower to continue telling him what I have to.

"I’m too scarred by my parents’ relationships to ever be in a proper one, Sonny. I want to be able to be happy in a normal marriage and to give my daughter a stable home but I just…can’t. I’m always going to be looking over my shoulder and wondering when something’s going to go wrong. I know myself and my insecurities about not being good enough for you and wondering whether I’m like my mother too much are just so overwhelming. That’s why I have to leave. I have to let you and Ari be free. I can’t burden you with all of that. It’ll just make us both bitter and resentful of each other and we’ll up divorced anyway and Ari will end up hating me.”

We’re both crying now. I lean forward and press my lips firmly against Sonny’s. There is nothing heated about the kiss; it is simply goodbye.

"I know you could have loved me forever," I say against Sonny’s lips. "And just maybe in another universe, I let you."

I hear Sonny choke back a sob as I slide out of bed. I keep my eyes shut tight because I know that if I see my husband crying I will never have the strength to walk away. 

Without another word, I walk out of the bedroom, the apartment, and Sonny and Ari’s life forever.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * *

I open the door of the house and I smile when I see the hall light is on. Almost ten years of marriage and Sonny still leaves the light on when he goes to bed before I get home. If I’m honest with myself, I hope he never stops.

I quietly lock up downstairs, shut off the hall light, and make my way up the stairs. 

Once at the top, I first check on the twins. They are both asleep, so I close the door, careful not to make a sound and wake one or both of them. 

I then make my way down the hall and peek into Ari’s bedroom where she is also sound asleep, her teddy bear clutched in her arms, and our dog curled up at the foot of her bed.

I’m about to leave when I hear a soft, “Daddy?”

The light from the hallway had fallen on her bed and woken her.

"Hi, Little Lady. I didn’t mean to wake you. Go back to sleep." I kiss her hair and she snuggles back into her pillow. She is out within seconds.

I pet the dog once on the head, close her door gently, and then head to my bedroom. I turn off the upstairs hall light before going inside. 

Sonny is sitting up in bed, reading a book. He never could fall asleep unless I was curled up next to him.

"Hey."

"Hi." I go over to him and give him a quick peck on the lips as I strip off my shirt. I quickly kick off my shoes and pants, change into my pajamas, brush my teeth, and climb into bed.

"How was work?" Sonny asks. He wraps his arm around my shoulder and I lean into his side.

"If ever I could get my journalists to get me articles on time, maybe I could be home for dinner and to put the kids to bed."

"But if you didn’t have to put each day’s paper together almost entirely by yourself who would make The Salem Spectator great?” Sonny grins at me cheekily. 

I snort in amusement. “I don’t know but it’d certainly make my life easier.”

"Yeah. But it keeps your life from being boring." 

My smile fades and I stare into Sonny’s eyes. I cup the side of his face with my hand and stroke my thumb across his cheek. “My life could never be boring. Being here with you, with our children, having this house, a dog and a white picket fence is all I’ve ever wanted for myself. I couldn’t imagine having any other life.”

Sonny smiles softly and his eyes sparkle with the kind of unbridled, adoring love neither of my parents ever found and what I’d always hoped I’d find.

I lean forward and press my lips against Sonny’s and we kiss lazily for a few minutes. 

When we break apart, I turn off the light on my side of the bed and Sonny follows suit. We snuggle down under the covers and into our usual falling asleep positions: Sonny’s arm around my back holding me close, mine draped over his middle, and my head pillowed on his chest.

"I love you," Sonny says and kisses my hair.

"Love you, too," I mumble as my eyes close against the sound of Sonny’s heart beating softly in his chest. 

The last thing I think about before I fall asleep is how wonderful it will be to keep doing this forever.


End file.
